He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
