Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
