I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
