I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
