Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
