i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
