you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
