I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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