Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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