I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
