Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
