I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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