were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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