I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
