It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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