I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
