i may or may not be watching the land before time
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
