i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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