My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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