we made out on top of his cat.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
