my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
