clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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