So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
