I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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