8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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