She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
