So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
