Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
