I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
