'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
