is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
