Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
