then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
