you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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