It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
