East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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