So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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