Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
