Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he quoted the bible to break up with me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
