can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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