About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
