Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
