Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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