i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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