I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
