i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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