That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
