smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think my moral compass just broke
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
