What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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