well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
