Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
