so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
